*POV me overthinking every interaction on Thanksgiving Eve*
Thanksgiving –– a holiday dedicated to family time, being thankful, and eating tons of food. But, perhaps the day before is the opposite. Thanksgiving Eve, or “Blackout Wednesday,” is dedicated to getting drunk with old classmates, having awkward small talk with someone you sat next to in history class, and trying your best to look like you’ve grown up since graduation.
For me, I felt nervous to be surrounded by people I haven’t seen in over four years. In the days before Thanksgiving Eve, worst-case-senarios began to creep in: What if I say “hi” to someone and they don’t recognize me? What if they blow me off? While these thoughts majorly sent a shiver down my spine, I still doused my blown-out hair in hairspray, armed myself with my favorite lipgloss, and made my way to the local bar.
This old bar is one I have known my whole life. My parents would take my siblings and me there for dinner back when I ordered dino nuggets and fries (which honestly isn’t that different from my current order). And now, I venture there for the occasional night out since moving home. I remember going there the summer after I turned 21 with my friend and ordering a bucket filled with an elixir of blue liquids –– causing a hangover that only a McDonald’s cheeseburger was able to fix.
Now, I’ve graduated from college. I’m an adult who is supposed to be starting my career. But, my time period for finding a job has continued to stretch. My plans have not exactly gone the way that I had hoped, and instead of having moved away by now, I am still chronically active on LinkedIn –– throwing my resume and cover letter at any job listed. But I can’t tell my former classmates that, can I? How can I be honest when they ask me “what I’ve been up to” without nervously laughing?
Regardless, I went with a group of friends to brave the awkward small talk and embarrassing eye contact. As I began to chat with people who I had known in high school, I began to realize that I wasn’t alone in this sticky post-grad web. I began to realize that everyone else was stuck in this web too, but in different ways. Some people explained that they were in grad school, but were facing challenges they hadn’t expected. Some people didn’t have a job yet either. Some people did have a job and explained that it was “fine,” but didn’t seem satisfied. I realized that while I was trying to hide my post-grad despair, everyone else was doing the same thing. Just because their Instagram story was stacked with photos of their new homes and jobs, many of them were unsatisfied, uncomfortable, and had expected more after college –– just like me.
In between the small talk, one girl told me that she enjoys reading my articles. To hear that I had a reader other than my mom and close friends felt amazing. This made all of the rejection letters that are stacked in my inbox, and burned into my brain, fade away a little. I made one little impact –– and while enjoying a seltzer with some of my old friends, that felt like enough.
So, happy Thanksgiving Eve to all who celebrate! Congrats to all of you for braving the home town bar.
How was your Thanksgiving Eve? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com
Since Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” dropped on Oct. 3, there has been much discourse online. This album has perhaps divided the swifties –– one side professing their love toward the album and the other half feeling unsure. For those who may need a little help diving into this album and hearing Swift’s messages, here is your unofficial listening guide.
The Album’s First Three Songs
Upon my first listen, I really loved Swift’s first track, “The Fate of Ophelia.” Listening to this upbeat first song was reminiscent of “reputation”’s “End Game” –– the second song on the album, but the first non-single. I had the same sense of thrill that I had during “reputation”’s release in 2017. The beat in “The Fate of Ophelia” along with Swift’s reference to William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” create a more intellectual pop song –– that perhaps needs a bit of research.
The character Ophelia’s actual fate is drowning in a brook after a spiral into madness. Perhaps Swift is referring to her life prior to meeting her fiance, Travis Kelce. Between her two break ups in 2023 (Joe Alwyn and Matty Healy) and dedicating her life to The Eras Tour for two years, Swift experienced a lot emotionally. Maybe this spiral into madness was what her last album, “The Tortured Poets Department” was documenting.
She is also blending together Shakespearean images and language with 2020s slang, according to “The Fate of Ophelia – Track by Track” by Swift. This connects Ophelia’s tragedy with modern heartbreak –– but also that love saved Swift from this fate.
Next, we have “Elizabeth Taylor.” Rhythmically, this song has a slow beat that really breaks during the chorus when Swift sings, “I’d cry my eyes violet/ Elizabeth Taylor.” The chorus is catchy, while still having a deeper meaning. Swift is comparing her life to Elizabeth Taylor’s, an actress during the mid 1900s. Taylor’s life was open to the public, as is Swift’s today. She explains in this song that both of their lives have been manipulated by public and media perception.
Then, we have “Opalite,” another catchy song. I really love this song because it’s about making “man-made” happiness. In Swift’s interview on “Capital Breakfast,” she explains that opalite is man-made opal, which is a colorful gemstone. Therefore, this song is telling listeners that you can create your own happiness and that it’s not just necessarily in the universe’s hands.
“Father Figure”
This song makes me want to wear a tie and pretend I like dark liquor. “Father Figure” is discussing the concept that Swift is the ruler of the pop industry. In my opinion, she is playing into the public’s perception that she is the one to grant these up-and-coming artists the key to the “pop city.” Moreover, she pokes fun at this notion that she covers up scandals and makes deals with important people in the industry.
Many users on social media have speculated that this song is about Swift’s influence on Olivia Rodrigo, and how they don’t work together or speak about each other anymore. But, I believe this song is more about what the media thinks happened than what really transpired between the two.
A Classic Track 5, “Eldest Daughter”
Now stick with me here people –– I know. This song was definitely not my favorite during my first listen. But, I feel like I’ve been able to find this song’s purpose and meaning, at least from my perspective. Yes, Swift does use the words “memes” and “hot-take” in the first verse. But overall, she is explaining the cruelty of social media in 2025. And as much as people think that she doesn’t see the things that are written about her, she does.
The lyric, “I’ve been dying just from trying to seem cool,” is very raw and honest, and something I can definitely relate to as an eldest daughter. Swift is explaining this in terms of the public’s perception, but I also think that the eldest daughter in the family feels this way, too. The eldest daughter is the big sister, the one who tries things first, the one who is supposed to be an example to their younger siblings. They inherently carry this load on their backs to be the impressive one –– the one everyone is in awe of. The one who is supposed to be “cool.”
The second verse is probably my favorite part. This image of being on a trampoline as a child with your friends giggling is so nostalgic. Then we get to that bridge. I mean, it makes me emotional just listening to the way she sings it. I really love her use of the word “timelapse” in the bridge, as she reflects.
So, I implore you to try listening to “Eldest Daughter” again, and try to see these connections.
Tracks 6 Through 11
These songs are the epitome of pop with a deeper meaning. That is something I have always loved about Swift –– she knows how to write a catchy song that is nuanced at the same time. Sometimes I feel bored of pop songs these days, with their simplistic meanings. Yes, while they are catchy, so many of them are just about boys and breakups.
But, Swift wrote a song about her biggest hater actually just being obsessed with her. She wrote a song about not having to rely on luck and superstitions anymore. And she wrote a song about being called honey passive aggressively and then meeting someone who changed the word’s connotation.
So you can dislike some songs on this album, but you definitely can’t call it boring.
“The Life of a Showgirl (feat. Sabrina Carpenter)”
I won’t lie, I was worried that this song would be similar to “Snow On The Beach (feat. Lana Del Rey)” –– when we could barely hear Del Rey in the background. But thank god, we got a true duet between Swift and Carpenter.
This is such a lovely song that illustrates the pros and cons of being a pop star. This was such a perfect song to end on –– its catchy, its detailed, and tells the story of Swift and Carpenter’s start.
So, what did you think of Swift’s “The Life of a Showgirl”? What song particularly resonated with you? Let me know by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com 🙂
My “Dancing with the Stars” experience began freshman year of college, when my friend invited me over to her dorm to watch. I had never seen it before, nor had I reached the “DWTS” side of TikTok yet. While I have little to no coordination and only took ballet lessons when I was 4 years old, I have always loved watching dance. I’ve watched every episode of “Dance Moms,” obsess over the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and their show, and enjoy watching all of the dancers at concerts. But, then I watched “DWTS.” The elegance of the professional dancers mixed with the competition between the stars is exhilarating. I felt like a child discovering their passion with wide eyes –– except I literally can’t dance at all. So, I stick to watching it.
My friend and I watched season 30 of “DWTS” freshman year, and every year after that we sat on the couch together every Tuesday night to watch as new celebrities competed with new routines. We even went to their live show together senior year wearing custom shirts I designed on Canva –– with Stephen Nedoroscik’s face on it. It was a very full circle moment for us.
So, because I basically majored in “Dancing with the Stars”-ology, I wanted to break down this season’s couples as of week three (aka TikTok night) and my thoughts on the season so far.
Let’s start off strong with this iconic duo. Robert Irwin, whose sister Bindi won season 21 in 2015, brought energy to the dance floor during his week one performance, making him a fierce competitor. Irwin, who is the son of the late Steve Irwin from “The Crocodile Hunter,” brought his young charisma to the show which was refreshing. His muscular build and sweet persona added to his likability as well.
While many young stars have graced the “DWTS” dance floor, many of them have had prior dance training. Charli D’Amelio (season 31 winner) is a former competitive dancer and Xiotchi Gomez (season 32 winner) had some musical theater dance experience from her childhood. But, Irwin has no prior dance experience –– which makes it exciting to see him learn on the show.
Irwin is paired with Witney Carson, a seasoned pro dancer whose choreography may help him get to the finals.
Daniella Karagach can simply do no wrong. The season 30 winner has been known to work with very, very beginner dancers (and sometimes, very, very tall dancers) and turn them into, well, Iman Shumpert –– I’ll let that video speak for itself. And Dylan Efron, Zac Efron’s brother, is no different.
Efron’s first week was a little stiff, but his foxtrot to “Yukon” this week showed much improvement. He looked more poised and confident in this slower dance style, earning him a 23/30 score from the judges which placed him in the upper half of the leaderboard. I’m excited to see even more improvements from Efron and what Karagach challenges him with next week.
Alix Earle joining the “DWTS” cast was exciting for its Gen Z audience who have watched her gain celebrity status. While Earle often documents her late nights out on TikTok, showing off her uncoordinated side, I wasn’t sure if she would pick up the technique as well as some of her fellow castmates.
However, after her first week I was proven wrong. She has been able to master the choreography that Val Chmerkovskiy has thrown at her, especially this week with her quickstep to “Pop Muzik” by M / Robin Scott. Her energy made this dance fun and look professional. This was probably my favorite dance this week (and not just because I’m obsessed with Chmerkovskiy).
Let’s start with Gleb Savchenko. Last season, he was paired with model Brooks Nader. The pair were flirtatious on the show and began dating, but Nader was quickly eliminated and placed 9th. While together, Nader and Savchenko were known for their social media PDA.
The couple broke up in April 2024, and according to Nader’s new reality TV show, “Love Thy Nader,” she went through Savchenko’s phone and discovered that he was planning a threesome in Joshua Tree, California. So, let’s just say Savchenko was in some pretty hot water already when this season began.
His image did not exactly improve when he was paired with Hilaria Baldwin. Baldwin, known for co-founding a chain of yoga studios called Yoga Vida and being married to Alec Baldwin, was canceled by the public for supposedly faking her Spanish accent. Although she was born in Boston, Massachusetts and named Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas, she spent time in Spain and is bilingual in Spanish, which she claims is why she has an accent.
With both of these partners having been canceled, I see them as an evil duo –– especially because Baldwin already has a background in ballroom dancing. She even beat “DWTS” pro Emma Slater in a ballroom dancing competition in 2004. This kind of dance experience seems unfair when put against the other contestants who have little to no dance experience.
Whitney Leavitt, who is on the reality show “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” does have some prior dance experience as well. She went to Brigham Young University, where she majored in fine arts with an emphasis in dance. So, she and her partner, Mark Ballas, lit up the dance floor during week one with their tango. Immediately, the audience could see Leavitt’s dance ability and flexibility. She looked sharp alongside Ballas, who has won three “DWTS” mirrorball trophies.
This is definitely a strong couple who I could see going all the way to the finals. That is, if Leavitt doesn’t get kicked out of the Mormon mom TikTok group, “MomTok,” again.
Jen Affleck, another star on “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” and perhaps somehow related to Ben Affleck (the jury is still out on this), is perfect for the “DWTS” dance floor with her bubbly personality. While Affleck just had a baby in July, the mom of three has a lot of potential on the show. She is still getting the technique down, but I think she will definitely have a breakout performance very soon.
Affleck’s partner, Jan Ravnik, is the newest pro dancer to join the “DWTS” cast. Fresh off of Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour, Ravnik is adjusting nicely to the ballroom. I’m super excited to see what choreography he does next.
Andy Richter, known as Conan O’Brien’s TV sidekick and being the voice of Mort in “The Penguins of Madagascar,” is a lovable contestant who has found a passion for dance. Watching Richter’s packages and his dance routines, it’s easy to see the joy that he has found for dance and the show. While perhaps not the most technical dancer, he has made the audience fall in love with his charisma –– especially this week with his foxtrot to “Northern Attitude.”
Emma Slater, Richter’s paired pro, is also a special part of his likability. They often make funny TikToks together to showcase their sweet partnership, making them a favorite of the viewers.
Iconically known as Meredith Blake from “The Parent Trap,” Elaine Hendrix has been working hard on “DWTS.” Throughout her rehearsal packages with her partner Alan Bersten, it’s clear that Hendrix is passionate about the show and wants to improve.
While perhaps not as technical as some of her fellow stars, her facial expressions and character portrayal is excellent. Her dances are delightfully fun and expressive, which may give her a leg up on other opponents.
As for Bersten, who placed second last season with rugby player Ilona Maher, his previous season showcased his silly personality, making him a fan-favorite. Perhaps this will help him gain votes in his new partnership.
The “Boy Meets World” actress, Danielle Fishel, known to most as her character, Topanga, is another passionate dancer. Although battling a hamstring injury, she danced with grace in her week three foxtrot to “Manchild” by her friend, Sabrina Carpenter.
It’s been fun to see Fishel improve each week alongside her partner, Pasha Pashkov. She reminds me a lot of Alyson Hannigan, who placed fifth on season 32. Perhaps there is a breakout moment coming for her this week during Disney night.
Scott Hoying, part of the acapella group “Pentatonix,” started off a little slow this season. As a beginner dancer, his first dance definitely needed some work. However, this week he performed a jazz performance with his partner Rylee Arnold that was powerful and went viral on TikTok. Hoying looked sharp in this dance style and really began to sink into his dancer-self.
Arnold, who placed fourth last season with Olympic bronze medalist Stephen Nedoroscik, is now on her third season as a pro. The 20-year-old has grown a lot as a choreographer and partner since her first season, and has really helped with “DWTS”’s presence on social media.
I’m so so excited about this pairing. Jordan Chiles, a gold medal Olympic gymnast, has so much energy and athleticism that she brings to her dances –– especially this past week with her tango. Along with her humorous personality, I believe that Chiles will definitely be a contender for the finals.
As for her partner, Ezra Sosa, who was eliminated first last season with con artist Anna Delvey, this feels like his first real chance to show off his skills as a pro. Last season was his very first season, which he was only able to do two dances for before getting eliminated. Now, being paired with a very strong partner, I’m hopeful that Sosa will shine as a performer and choreographer.
I drive to work in the cold 50 degree shiver of the morning. I’ve started wearing sweatshirts outside of my house and turning on the heat in my car. Leaves are beginning to scatter on the ground, forming a collage of oranges and reds that mixes in with the few green leaves that are left.
It’s September in every sense –– it’s written on my mom’s whiteboard in the hall, highlighted on my phone lockscreen, whispered in the crisp breeze. But, this September is different from all my Septembers before.
Every fall used to be so exciting. At the first trace of summer’s end, my mom would take my siblings and I to Target to pick out school supplies when we were kids. We would bring lists from our school that required us to have items like glue sticks, pencils and loose-leaf paper. I picked out binders and composition notebooks with colorful patterns along with a fresh JanSport backpack. We all browsed the aisles for new clothes to match our fluorescent Converse, bows and clips to pin our hair back with, and socks that would eventually all get lost.
Even though summer was ending, fall always felt exciting. It was something new –– a new grade level, a new school, a new season of sports. Things felt different in the fall. It felt like the second season of a TV show. The cameras were rolling again, featuring new and old cast members each year. It was a clean slate –– a new chance to learn and make friends and figure out who I wanted to be.
And then college came and the fall was even more exciting than before. There was dorm room shopping and apartment shopping and buying kitchenware that had no business being in a college apartment. There were football games to look forward to and parties and bar crawls. After long summers of working and saving money, the fall felt like it was all worth it. I was back with my friends, in this new place that became home.
Every fall also had a new stack of classes. Each year of college, I found myself loving my classes more and more. I took poetry classes, french classes and even a class on alcohol my senior year. Yes, some were hard and had strict professors who assigned long papers that I struggled to hit the word count for. But, I never hated that part. I knew that the boring homework would eventually be over, and a new semester would begin.
This fall, and September, is obviously different. I’m working as a bartender, trying to find a journalism job and avoiding “back-to-school” TikToks as much as I can. I keep falling victim to Penn State football videos or “two years ago” photos on Snapchat that remind me of my former college life. I should be there, I think to myself. I should be doing homework. I should be tailgating at 9 a.m. I should be in school.
But I’m not. I graduated. I finished my very last year of school and have no plans for grad school. It’s weird to think about my kindergarten self getting lost in my elementary school, and how I thought school would last forever.
I’ve always thought about the day school would be over –– no more homework or tests or papers. I dreamed of it sometimes. I prayed for it to come during my high school AP exams. And now, I’m here and it’s hard to know what to do with myself. My body is not used to not being in school. I have this sudden drive to do something, to learn something, to write my name and date at the top of a page, but for what? My muscle memory is all confused and wondering why I don’t have pencil-dents on my fingers.
What do I do with all that academic validation now? I guess I will have to start leaving grades on my blog posts instead.
How do you feel about school being over? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com:)
If there is one thing about Taylor Swift, it’s that she has perfect timing. Have I been feeling down in the dumps? Of course. Who hasn’t? Between this summer having no theme (Brat was last summer, what the heck was this summer?) and there being no real summer song, there has been a lack of media. And yes, I did watch “Love Island” back in June, but having to watch that everyday was frankly exhausting. Plus, the only real cure for these post-grad blues is a new Taylor Swift album (or, maybe getting a job, but a new album wouldn’t hurt).
Last week, when Swift announced that she had a new album coming out on Aug. 12 at 12:12 a.m., I was sitting in bed freaking out. The green and orange color combo? The orange hints that were seen during the Eras Tour? I felt like my 17-year-old self, sitting in my bedroom when “folklore” came out in the height of the pandemic.
Now, I have some predictions that no one asked for, but I will present to you anyway. I’m predicting an upbeat album, just like everyone else. As Swift discussed the album, and announced it’s title “The Life of a Showgirl,” on Travis and Jason Kelce’s podcast “New Heights,” she explained how she meticulously picked these 12 songs that she has worked to perfection with the help of Max Martin and Shellback.
These two record producers worked with Swift on songs such as “I knew you were trouble,” “Shake It Off,” “…Ready For It?” and other upbeat pop songs by her. Therefore, we can expect the pop-y side of Swift from “Red,” “1989,” and “reputation” to be at the forefront of this album.
It looks like the old Taylor actually can come to the phone right now.
This album will look different from her last four albums (not including the re-recordings) as they centered around late night anxieties, insecurities, failed relationships and sometimes murder. But, I do think the glitz and glamour of “Midnights” will tie into “The Life of a Showgirl.” I believe there will be this theme of Swift being a performer, specifically referring to the Eras Tour, which reminds me of the “Bejeweled” music video.
All of Swift’s albums typically have two or more emotional layers to them. You can’t have “Red” without “We Are Never Getting Back Together” and “All Too Well.” So, while I think the majority of this new album will be upbeat, I do think we may get a song or two that are a little slower and sadder. I hope that there is a more raw song about the hardships of the Eras Tour –– and maybe how she changed throughout the almost two years she was on tour. Or, perhaps the raw song will be her track 5 song (a notorious heartbreaker) which is titled “Eldest Daughter.”
Another possibility is that this album will express Swift’s feelings about buying back her masters from Shamrock Capital this year. While on “New Heights,” she talked about it emotionally, explaining that she had lost hope in ever having the rights to her first six albums. The feelings she had about getting her music back may be another theme of this album.
These are all possibilities, but we won’t really know what “The Life of a Showgirl” sounds like until Oct. 3 –– and thank god it comes out before my 10 miler because that’s all I will be listening to during it. Again, Swift really does have the best timing.
What are your predictions for “The Life of a Showgirl”? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com:)
Since moving home, my mom and dad have become my new roommates. Similarly to my college roommates, they often ask me to get dinner together, watch movies and chip in on the house chores. But, unlike my college roommates, they try to tell me what to do. I still get detailed lists of chores from my mom in the morning telling me to do them before she gets home. Yes, I can help out with cleaning up around the house, but our relationship is beginning to change.
In college, I figured out how to live, clean and cook on my own without the help of my parents. Now that I am home, I am still that independent person, just now with my parents constantly asking me to switch the washer and dryer.
But, the biggest problem in our relationship now is how they respond when I get upset about things. When I was young, I would cry about stubbing my toe, girls being mean at school or my brother shooting his Nerf gun at me. My parents are used to the 12-year-old Ginger whose tears were usually not that big of a deal.
Whenever I would be frustrated or emotional at school, my roommates always had receptive responses. They would say things like “it’s ok to be upset,” or “your feelings are valid.” I felt comforted by them even just listening.
Now, with my roommates being my parents, their responses to my tearful rants are not quite the same.
The other day, in the midst of a mental breakdown in front of my mom, she told me, “Ginger, I don’t feel sorry for you.” This line –– one that I’ve heard a million times –– sent me back to second grade. My mom used to perpetually say, “I don’t feel bad for you” whenever I cried over her not buying me a toy or saying I couldn’t hang out with my friends.
Why would I want her to feel sorry for me? I was just being honest about how I was feeling about post-grad and how it is difficult sometimes.
But, my mom doesn’t see the same 22-year-old that my college roommates did. She sees a girl who cries easily over simple obstacles. She remembers when I called her sobbing after soccer practice –– she had thought I got into a car accident. I actually just had knee pain.
She definitely has some PTSD after that and many other similar incidents. So, I can’t really blame her.
The “I don’t feel sorry for you” line comes from many years of my parents teaching my siblings and I gratitude. It was used when we didn’t get our way. Another signature line of theirs was “there are people who are starving who would love that meal,” often used at the dinner table when none of us would finish our meals. In case you are wondering, all three of us are part of the clean plate society now.
And yes, I feel my parents have taught me to be grateful for things. My parents are two of my favorite people, and have given me so much to be grateful for. They have supported me through everything, even my tears over my knee pain, and have always pushed me to be my best self.
But, when I am in the midst of a mental breakdown, the absolute last thing I wanted to hear was, “I don’t feel sorry for you.” That definitely made my blood boil. I wasn’t crying over my dinner, I was crying because I was frustrated and ranting and needed someone to listen.
So many relationships in our lives evolve over time. Friendships drift or become stronger. Young love becomes adult relationships. But our relationship with our parents, I would argue, is the one that changes the most. Our parents have seen us in diapers, in clothes that we would eventually “grow into” and in graduation caps and gowns. They’ve disciplined us when we misbehaved, caught us when we were sneaking out, told us “no” when we needed (but didn’t want) to hear it. So now, as adults making our own decisions, our parents’ final say no longer applies. Their time as a disciplinarian has expired.
So, what is our parents’ role now? While yes, since I am living in my parent’s house without paying rent, I guess they can still yell at me about the cups that I’ve been holding hostage in my room. But, I need my parents to be listeners. When I get frustrated or upset, I don’t need them to try to teach me a lesson. I need them to hear me –– to understand what I’m going through because they have been there too. Also, I don’t need them to tell me what to do in these situations, but rather tell me about their own experiences and what they have learned. I have to be the one making my own decisions, not my parents.
This transition from parental authoritarians to advising peers is difficult for both parents and their adult kids –– but having these conversations can help make living at home a little bit better. Or at least, that’s what I have found.
Let me know your thoughts about the changing of parental roles by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com or leaving a comment:)
I made it home last night at 11:30 p.m. with a rolled ankle, empty McDonald’s bag and a duffle full of sweaty clothes. Did I cry when I left? Yes. But, I had a wonderful last weekend there.
In my last blog post, I mostly talked about the sad parts of this final weekend –– and there were sad moments and many “lasts.” But, there were fun, silly and light-hearted moments too. So, let’s talk about them.
Do you know what’s underrated? Knowing that you have enough money in your bank account to cover a few vodka sodas. I happily handed my credit card over to the bartender many times this weekend, rather than scrambling together dollar bills. Maybe living at home and saving money isn’t so bad.
Next, there is no feeling like being in a crowded bar, standing way too close to people you are sure are crop dusting you, and seeing a table become available. And on Friday, that very thing happened to me.
I was walking to the bathroom when I saw a group get up from one of the booths. No, not just any booth. I’m talking about the corner booth right next to the window that is a little sectioned off from the sea of standing people. I immediately ran to sit down at this table and texted my friends to come over. This made our night even more magnificent than it already was (and I had just eaten some really great mac and cheese that night, so that’s saying something).
Now, this one I know is a popular one, but a morning debrief never fails –– especially over bagels. Dressed in t-shirts and flip flops, my friends and I (all experiencing some form of hangover) stopped to get bagels and collected ourselves.
It felt like no time had passed since we had last been together. We laughed, talked about “Love Island” and nibbled at our bagels together. While I knew this would be our last weekend in State College together for a while, I pushed that thought out of my mind and embraced the simplicity of our morning.
I also saw a lot of my other friends out at the bars while I was there. It was fun to hear about the different jobs people were taking or what higher education options they were considering. But, the best moments were when both of us agreed that we had no idea what we were doing.
While living at home, it’s easy to forget that so many people are feeling the same things as me: lost, lonely and underqualified. It felt nice to be surrounded by people who are trying to figure things out the same way I am.
The nights lasted until the early morning, with pitchers of sweet drinks, zippers and lime slices cluttering the table. I squeezed my friends tight –– in digital camera photos and outside of them. All of us, grinning and making sad faces that this was our last weekend together for who knows how long. But, the fact that we were together was what really mattered.
Overall, this weekend I kept having this thought: it felt good to be known. Throughout the weekend, the song “dorothea” by Taylor Swift hummed in the back of my head, repeating the lyrics: “And if you’re ever tired of being known / For who you know / You know, you’ll always know me.”
Being home can be lonely sometimes. It doesn’t have the same comfort that my college town had. I used to see so many people walking to class, at the grocery store or at the bar. I would wave to them, say hi or give them a hug. Now, in my own hometown, there are so many strangers.
It was still sad to leave State College for the last time as a resident, but I know I will always know these people, and they will always know me. And I’m so grateful for that.
Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.
This weekend, I am going back to my college apartment for the last time. My last month of rent has been paid and it’s time to move the rest of my things out.
I’ll dismantle my lamp with shelves that used to hold textbooks and college ruled notebooks. I’ll wipe down my bathroom mirror –– where my roommate and I used to write little notes to each other –– with Windex. I’ll take home the dirty toaster that my roommates and I used to make 2 a.m. pieces of toast with. I’ll dismantle our gold bar cart, with shot glasses and open bottles of liquor and leftover seltzer cans.
I’ll take home all of my bed sheets, pillows and leftover winter clothes. My closet and dresser will sit empty, waiting to be used again in August by somebody else. My walls will be ready for the next college student to decorate them with Command Strips and their own photos. My own Command Strip residue will be all that remains.
Each piece of me will be packed into my car, leaving the blank canvas of this apartment for someone else to fill in.
The banner hanging in our living room from graduation will be taken home –– the pomp and circumstance lingering faintly. All the blue and white frosting has been gone for two months now. It’s been two months. Two months of something new and lonely and exciting and terrifying. Two months of being an adult.
But, this weekend isn’t all sad. I’ll be back with my friends, laughing in the familiar lights of our college bars. I’ll wake up in my apartment this weekend, probably with half of my makeup still on and an urge to rot on the couch with an everything bagel surrounded by my friends.
I’ll feel the warmth of State College and its people, and maybe sit on a porch with summer country music blasting loudly. I’ll sit back and embrace that this was once home.
In an incredibly uncomfortable time, it will be nice to feel a sense of home in the midst of job applications and a whole Google Drive folder full of cover letters.
Just like the scene in “Gilmore Girls,” when Rory graduates from Chilton and Lorelai says to her, “it’s not so scary anymore.” While Penn State was once a big leap I took at 18, now at 22, I no longer feel the same nerves or doubt.
This weekend, I’ll feel joy about what happened here. I’ll smile as I say goodbye, and gently close this chapter –– one that I’ve spent so long writing, scratching through and editing. It is now, officially, finished. And thank god I got so many friends, memories and lessons from writing it.
Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.
When I was in college, I only felt that I needed to be somewhat fashionable and “put together” when I went out to the bars. I’d buy a nice pair of jeans at the beginning of the school year, a couple of basic going-out tops and a lip gloss. I looked at everything that I spent my summer savings on and somehow thought, “yes, this is fashion.”
Looking back now, that was the furthest thing from fashion.
In my defense, I was broke and buying cheap tops that I could wear with anything. I sported a variation of the same look every night and thought nothing of it. I was going out with the same friends to the same bars. I didn’t really care what I was wearing as long as I looked decent –– believing that everything looked good as long as my hair was blown out.
During the week, I was looking pretty bad. In class I would wear leggings or sweatpants and a sweatshirt. My hair had been air dried and I hardly ever wore makeup. But this wasn’t just me –– this was most people. We all had an understanding that what you wore to class didn’t matter. Maybe this is just a state school mentality, but I wasn’t bothered by it –– I embraced it.
Some girls wore matching sweat sets, which were basically elevated pajamas, and that was about as classy as it got in Penn State classrooms.
Now that I have a paycheck and am saving money, I have a little extra to spend on clothes. I began my post-grad fashion journey by shopping online –– scrolling through the countless pages of clothing each site offers. In the thick of online racks I realized that I have no idea what my style is nor where to find it. The sites I was looking through just weren’t doing it.
Before, I would buy a couple of tops off of Edikted and a pair of jeans from wherever a stranger from TikTok would recommend. Now I find myself googling “where do 20-somethings shop?”
How am I supposed to dress like Paige DeSorbo if I don’t even know where to find a solid pair of jeans?
I feel like I’m back in middle school, trying to figure out my style after ditching my Justice apparel.
I ended up finding a few items on Aerie. I even invested in a sweatshirt that doesn’t have “Penn State” or my old sorority letters written across it. I felt like this was a big step for me and can literally feel my frontal lobe developing.
As someone who loves to look through Vogue and watch red carpets, I’m excited to embrace this new challenge of finding what my true style is. Discovering this facet of myself can be something to look forward to, especially when post-grad days sometimes feel heavy. Perhaps looking through street style trends and store sales can help me as I revamp my everyday style from sweats to… well to be determined.
Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions and fashion advice by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.
It’s been about six weeks since I graduated and let’s just say this isn’t funny anymore.
After I graduated in May and came back to live with my parents, things have felt extremely different. Every summer while I was in school, I missed my friends who lived hours away, but I knew it was only a couple of months before I would see them again. But obviously, this year is different. Facetime, texting and TikTok sharing have become my main form of communication with my long distance friends –– holding tight to those strong bonds that were formed when we could see each other every day.
I’ve adjusted myself into a routine at home now. I workout in the morning, lay around for a while and then work as a bartender in the evenings. While it’s no typical day at Penn State, I am able to stay busy while saving money (I’m saving so much money from not going out it’s crazy).
But, when I drive to the gym or have a free second at work, I think about all the mundane things I miss about college. I get glimpses of my walks to class through the changing seasons. I think about sitting at the kitchen table with my college roommates as we all made dinner at once. I think about the thrill of school when it was August and still warm outside and football games took over every weekend.
POV what my Snapchat AI thinks my life currently looks like
In between shifts at work, I’m trying to apply for journalism jobs, learn how to budget my money and what rent I’ll be able to afford when I move out. I have to think about buying furniture and having new roommates and what transportation I’ll need to factor in. This is substantially less fun than scheduling my classes and figuring out what outfits to wear to home games.
I know there is so much ahead of me now, and that school is only a small portion of my life. But, I can’t help but think about how my life at Penn State ended and this new life that I’m trying to achieve has so many challenges before it can even begin.
Sure, I now have a degree and a resume with some substance to it, but how do I turn that into the life that I want? What even is it that I want this new life to look like? (Cue “Roots Before Branches (Glee Cast Version)”).
There are so many changes that are going to happen in the next year, which I am excited for. I’m just not sure how to make those changes happen.
I began to seriously start applying to jobs this week and got my very first post-grad rejection email –– which I was weirdly excited about. While of course I was hoping to get to the next round of interviews, it felt nice to be at least noticed enough to receive a rejection email. Because I have heard so many stories of people getting ghosted by companies they applied to, a rejection email felt ok (at least for now, ask me again in a month and I’ll probably say something different).
Maybe this is where my next life will be born –– out of rejection and adjusting and feeling uncomfortable.
This email is just the start. But at least I am here, locked in this roller coaster just hoping I don’t throw up over the edge before I land back on the ground.
Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.
Educated Guesses 