Educated Guesses

Tag: post-grad

  • School’s out forever?

    School’s out forever?

    I drive to work in the cold 50 degree shiver of the morning. I’ve started wearing sweatshirts outside of my house and turning on the heat in my car. Leaves are beginning to scatter on the ground, forming a collage of oranges and reds that mixes in with the few green leaves that are left. 

    It’s September in every sense –– it’s written on my mom’s whiteboard in the hall, highlighted on my phone lockscreen, whispered in the crisp breeze. But, this September is different from all my Septembers before. 

    Every fall used to be so exciting. At the first trace of summer’s end, my mom would take my siblings and I to Target to pick out school supplies when we were kids. We would bring lists from our school that required us to have items like glue sticks, pencils and loose-leaf paper. I picked out binders and composition notebooks with colorful patterns along with a fresh JanSport backpack. We all browsed the aisles for new clothes to match our fluorescent Converse, bows and clips to pin our hair back with, and socks that would eventually all get lost.

    Even though summer was ending, fall always felt exciting. It was something new –– a new grade level, a new school, a new season of sports. Things felt different in the fall. It felt like the second season of a TV show. The cameras were rolling again, featuring new and old cast members each year. It was a clean slate –– a new chance to learn and make friends and figure out who I wanted to be.

    And then college came and the fall was even more exciting than before. There was dorm room shopping and apartment shopping and buying kitchenware that had no business being in a college apartment. There were football games to look forward to and parties and bar crawls. After long summers of working and saving money, the fall felt like it was all worth it. I was back with my friends, in this new place that became home.

    Every fall also had a new stack of classes. Each year of college, I found myself loving my classes more and more. I took poetry classes, french classes and even a class on alcohol my senior year. Yes, some were hard and had strict professors who assigned long papers that I struggled to hit the word count for. But, I never hated that part. I knew that the boring homework would eventually be over, and a new semester would begin.

    This fall, and September, is obviously different. I’m working as a bartender, trying to find a journalism job and avoiding “back-to-school” TikToks as much as I can. I keep falling victim to Penn State football videos or “two years ago” photos on Snapchat that remind me of my former college life. I should be there, I think to myself. I should be doing homework. I should be tailgating at 9 a.m. I should be in school. 

    But I’m not. I graduated. I finished my very last year of school and have no plans for grad school. It’s weird to think about my kindergarten self getting lost in my elementary school, and how I thought school would last forever. 

    I’ve always thought about the day school would be over –– no more homework or tests or papers. I dreamed of it sometimes. I prayed for it to come during my high school AP exams. And now, I’m here and it’s hard to know what to do with myself. My body is not used to not being in school. I have this sudden drive to do something, to learn something, to write my name and date at the top of a page, but for what? My muscle memory is all confused and wondering why I don’t have pencil-dents on my fingers.

    What do I do with all that academic validation now? I guess I will have to start leaving grades on my blog posts instead. 

    How do you feel about school being over? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com:)

  • The Desire to be Uprooted

    The Desire to be Uprooted

    When you’re in school, you always know what’s coming next. When you are in seventh grade, you know you will be going into eighth the next fall. There is always a sense of security in knowing where you will be. Even when parts of life are changing, this notion of school is always a constant. 

    Of course, there is uncertainty when college comes around. Do you want to go to college? Where do you want to apply? Where will you get in? What degree do you want? All of these questions crop up senior year of high school, or sometimes earlier. I remember feeling uncertain –– of feeling like a plant being ripped out of its own soil to be planted somewhere new. And eventually, after nights of major mental breakdowns about leaving my childhood bedroom, it was all ok. It ended up being the best thing for me.

    In college, I learned that it was ok to be uprooted. That being planted somewhere new was wonderful and exciting. It was better to grow somewhere else than hide in the shadows of what was comfortable. 

    Now, I’m back in the shade of my childhood bedroom. My old plastic soccer trophies stare at me from my bookshelves –– curious as to why I am back. I wish so badly to be uprooted again, to be taken to another unfamiliar place where I can feel the warmth of the sun and grow. But for now, I am stuck here, surrounded by golden figures in cleats and shin guards.

    There is no 17th grade for me. There is no grad school in my forward view and that’s ok. But it’s hard not knowing what is next yet, especially when my job hunt has gone from fine to desperate. After several rejections and being ghosted from jobs, my experience that I was once proud of feels weak and flimsy. 

    Every year in school felt like a new step toward my post-grad goals. I did new projects each year, took on leadership roles and got better grades in my classes. By the end, I felt successful. I felt like everything that I did in college will somehow, miraculously, give me a job the summer after I graduated. But my sister goes back to college soon, and in just a few weeks the leaves will begin to change color. 

    Even so, there is some comfort in knowing that at this time next summer, my life will probably look completely different. Maybe I will find a journalism job that I like, or work in marketing, or work some crazy job that I have no idea about yet. Maybe I will be in New York City or in a random city I never thought I would live in.  

    There is comfort in knowing that I will be planted somewhere else eventually. And isn’t that exciting? While my internal clock is freaking out that I don’t have a job yet, part of me (a very small sliver) knows that it will happen. I just need time.

    What are your thoughts on where you will be next year? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com 🙂

  • Post-Grad Song Spotlight: “The Hudson”

    Post-Grad Song Spotlight: “The Hudson”

    On July 11, The Favors, a band including singer-songwriters FINNEAS and Ashe, debuted their second single titled “The Hudson” off of their upcoming album, “The Dream.” 

    While this is not the first time the pair have collaborated on a musical project, this is their first album together. You may remember them from their 2021 song, “Till Forever Falls Apart,” –– a heartwarming song about loving people until the world ends.

    The Favors originally released a snippet of the chorus to “The Hudson” on social media platforms, sparking enthusiasm from fans with these raw and heartfelt lyrics:

    “I don’t know where I belong / All I’ve ever known is gone / And I’ve got nothing but you to lose” – The Favors

    After hearing this on my TikTok, I was so excited for this song to be released. I have always loved Ashe’s music and her vocals, as well as FINNEAS’s songwriting and production on his own songs and his sister’s, Billie Eilish. 

    After listening to “The Hudson” and their first single “The Little Mess You Made,” I found that The Favors have a Fleetwood Mac feel (very soft rock) mixed with Ashe and FINNEAS’s modern pop lyrics. Dare I say, even a little reminiscent of “Daisy Jones & The Six.” 

    Diving into “The Hudson”

    While “The Hudson” is a song centered around love and heartbreak, there are so many aspects of it that relate to trying to find yourself after college. Even just these simple lyrics connect back to college friendships:

    “Let’s meet back here a year from now / Maybe then it works out / I’ll try not to think ’bout you in June” – The Favors

    Perhaps FINNEAS and Ashe were explaining the wishful thinking of a couple who broke up, but I interpreted it as college friends who would meet up in a year from now –– but who used to see each other everyday. I also had this thought of pushing away the feeling of loneliness in June –– the first month that college friends are apart. 

    The lyrics of the chorus especially leave me with this idea of not knowing who you want to become but knowing that the people you love will always support you –– even if they are far away. 

    The last chorus of the song especially drives home that feeling. It begins with just the isolated lyric of, “I don’t know where I belong.” The instruments then come back in, creating this overwhelming and freeing feeling while listening to it. FINNAES and Ashe are almost yelling these lyrics at the end, emphasizing the feeling of being lost while simultaneously knowing who you love –– romantically, platonically or familially. 

    Did I listen to this song and cry after leaving Penn State for the last time? None of your business. But, I would recommend this song to anyone feeling lost right now, whether in your career, in your relationships or just figuring out where to even begin. 

    What are your thoughts on “The Hudson”? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com.

  • One Last Weekend

    One Last Weekend

    This weekend, I am going back to my college apartment for the last time. My last month of rent has been paid and it’s time to move the rest of my things out. 

    I’ll dismantle my lamp with shelves that used to hold textbooks and college ruled notebooks. I’ll wipe down my bathroom mirror –– where my roommate and I used to write little notes to each other –– with Windex. I’ll take home the dirty toaster that my roommates and I used to make 2 a.m. pieces of toast with. I’ll dismantle our gold bar cart, with shot glasses and open bottles of liquor and leftover seltzer cans.

    I’ll take home all of my bed sheets, pillows and leftover winter clothes. My closet and dresser will sit empty, waiting to be used again in August by somebody else. My walls will be ready for the next college student to decorate them with Command Strips and their own photos. My own Command Strip residue will be all that remains.

    Each piece of me will be packed into my car, leaving the blank canvas of this apartment for someone else to fill in.

    The banner hanging in our living room from graduation will be taken home –– the pomp and circumstance lingering faintly. All the blue and white frosting has been gone for two months now. It’s been two months. Two months of something new and lonely and exciting and terrifying. Two months of being an adult.

    But, this weekend isn’t all sad. I’ll be back with my friends, laughing in the familiar lights of our college bars. I’ll wake up in my apartment this weekend, probably with half of my makeup still on and an urge to rot on the couch with an everything bagel surrounded by my friends. 

    I’ll feel the warmth of State College and its people, and maybe sit on a porch with summer country music blasting loudly. I’ll sit back and embrace that this was once home.

    In an incredibly uncomfortable time, it will be nice to feel a sense of home in the midst of job applications and a whole Google Drive folder full of cover letters.

    Just like the scene in “Gilmore Girls,” when Rory graduates from Chilton and Lorelai says to her, “it’s not so scary anymore.” While Penn State was once a big leap I took at 18, now at 22, I no longer feel the same nerves or doubt. 

    This weekend, I’ll feel joy about what happened here. I’ll smile as I say goodbye, and gently close this chapter –– one that I’ve spent so long writing, scratching through and editing. It is now, officially, finished. And thank god I got so many friends, memories and lessons from writing it.

    Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.

  • You Can Find Me in the Dressing Room

    You Can Find Me in the Dressing Room

    When I was in college, I only felt that I needed to be somewhat fashionable and “put together” when I went out to the bars. I’d buy a nice pair of jeans at the beginning of the school year, a couple of basic going-out tops and a lip gloss. I looked at everything that I spent my summer savings on and somehow thought, “yes, this is fashion.” 

    Looking back now, that was the furthest thing from fashion. 

    In my defense, I was broke and buying cheap tops that I could wear with anything. I sported a variation of the same look every night and thought nothing of it. I was going out with the same friends to the same bars. I didn’t really care what I was wearing as long as I looked decent –– believing that everything looked good as long as my hair was blown out.

    During the week, I was looking pretty bad. In class I would wear leggings or sweatpants and a sweatshirt. My hair had been air dried and I hardly ever wore makeup. But this wasn’t just me –– this was most people. We all had an understanding that what you wore to class didn’t matter. Maybe this is just a state school mentality, but I wasn’t bothered by it –– I embraced it. 

    Some girls wore matching sweat sets, which were basically elevated pajamas, and that was about as classy as it got in Penn State classrooms.

    Now that I have a paycheck and am saving money, I have a little extra to spend on clothes. I began my post-grad fashion journey by shopping online –– scrolling through the countless pages of clothing each site offers. In the thick of online racks I realized that I have no idea what my style is nor where to find it. The sites I was looking through just weren’t doing it.

    Before, I would buy a couple of tops off of Edikted and a pair of jeans from wherever a stranger from TikTok would recommend. Now I find myself googling “where do 20-somethings shop?”

    How am I supposed to dress like Paige DeSorbo if I don’t even know where to find a solid pair of jeans? 

    I feel like I’m back in middle school, trying to figure out my style after ditching my Justice apparel. 

    I ended up finding a few items on Aerie. I even invested in a sweatshirt that doesn’t have “Penn State” or my old sorority letters written across it. I felt like this was a big step for me and can literally feel my frontal lobe developing.

    As someone who loves to look through Vogue and watch red carpets, I’m excited to embrace this new challenge of finding what my true style is. Discovering this facet of myself can be something to look forward to, especially when post-grad days sometimes feel heavy. Perhaps looking through street style trends and store sales can help me as I revamp my everyday style from sweats to… well to be determined.

    Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions and fashion advice by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.