Educated Guesses

Tag: Arts Fest

  • I Survived My Last Weekend at Penn State (Barely)

    I Survived My Last Weekend at Penn State (Barely)

    I made it home last night at 11:30 p.m. with a rolled ankle, empty McDonald’s bag and a duffle full of sweaty clothes. Did I cry when I left? Yes. But, I had a wonderful last weekend there. 

    In my last blog post, I mostly talked about the sad parts of this final weekend –– and there were sad moments and many “lasts.” But, there were fun, silly and light-hearted moments too. So, let’s talk about them.

    Do you know what’s underrated? Knowing that you have enough money in your bank account to cover a few vodka sodas. I happily handed my credit card over to the bartender many times this weekend, rather than scrambling together dollar bills. Maybe living at home and saving money isn’t so bad. 

    Next, there is no feeling like being in a crowded bar, standing way too close to people you are sure are crop dusting you, and seeing a table become available. And on Friday, that very thing happened to me. 

    I was walking to the bathroom when I saw a group get up from one of the booths. No, not just any booth. I’m talking about the corner booth right next to the window that is a little sectioned off from the sea of standing people. I immediately ran to sit down at this table and texted my friends to come over. This made our night even more magnificent than it already was (and I had just eaten some really great mac and cheese that night, so that’s saying something).

    Now, this one I know is a popular one, but a morning debrief never fails –– especially over bagels. Dressed in t-shirts and flip flops, my friends and I (all experiencing some form of hangover) stopped to get bagels and collected ourselves. 

    It felt like no time had passed since we had last been together. We laughed, talked about “Love Island” and nibbled at our bagels together. While I knew this would be our last weekend in State College together for a while, I pushed that thought out of my mind and embraced the simplicity of our morning. 

    I also saw a lot of my other friends out at the bars while I was there. It was fun to hear about the different jobs people were taking or what higher education options they were considering. But, the best moments were when both of us agreed that we had no idea what we were doing. 

    While living at home, it’s easy to forget that so many people are feeling the same things as me: lost, lonely and underqualified. It felt nice to be surrounded by people who are trying to figure things out the same way I am. 

    The nights lasted until the early morning, with pitchers of sweet drinks, zippers and lime slices cluttering the table. I squeezed my friends tight –– in digital camera photos and outside of them. All of us, grinning and making sad faces that this was our last weekend together for who knows how long. But, the fact that we were together was what really mattered. 

    Overall, this weekend I kept having this thought: it felt good to be known. Throughout the weekend, the song “dorothea” by Taylor Swift hummed in the back of my head, repeating the lyrics: “And if you’re ever tired of being known / For who you know / You know, you’ll always know me.” 

    Being home can be lonely sometimes. It doesn’t have the same comfort that my college town had. I used to see so many people walking to class, at the grocery store or at the bar. I would wave to them, say hi or give them a hug. Now, in my own hometown, there are so many strangers. 

    It was still sad to leave State College for the last time as a resident, but I know I will always know these people, and they will always know me. And I’m so grateful for that. 

    Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.

  • One Last Weekend

    One Last Weekend

    This weekend, I am going back to my college apartment for the last time. My last month of rent has been paid and it’s time to move the rest of my things out. 

    I’ll dismantle my lamp with shelves that used to hold textbooks and college ruled notebooks. I’ll wipe down my bathroom mirror –– where my roommate and I used to write little notes to each other –– with Windex. I’ll take home the dirty toaster that my roommates and I used to make 2 a.m. pieces of toast with. I’ll dismantle our gold bar cart, with shot glasses and open bottles of liquor and leftover seltzer cans.

    I’ll take home all of my bed sheets, pillows and leftover winter clothes. My closet and dresser will sit empty, waiting to be used again in August by somebody else. My walls will be ready for the next college student to decorate them with Command Strips and their own photos. My own Command Strip residue will be all that remains.

    Each piece of me will be packed into my car, leaving the blank canvas of this apartment for someone else to fill in.

    The banner hanging in our living room from graduation will be taken home –– the pomp and circumstance lingering faintly. All the blue and white frosting has been gone for two months now. It’s been two months. Two months of something new and lonely and exciting and terrifying. Two months of being an adult.

    But, this weekend isn’t all sad. I’ll be back with my friends, laughing in the familiar lights of our college bars. I’ll wake up in my apartment this weekend, probably with half of my makeup still on and an urge to rot on the couch with an everything bagel surrounded by my friends. 

    I’ll feel the warmth of State College and its people, and maybe sit on a porch with summer country music blasting loudly. I’ll sit back and embrace that this was once home.

    In an incredibly uncomfortable time, it will be nice to feel a sense of home in the midst of job applications and a whole Google Drive folder full of cover letters.

    Just like the scene in “Gilmore Girls,” when Rory graduates from Chilton and Lorelai says to her, “it’s not so scary anymore.” While Penn State was once a big leap I took at 18, now at 22, I no longer feel the same nerves or doubt. 

    This weekend, I’ll feel joy about what happened here. I’ll smile as I say goodbye, and gently close this chapter –– one that I’ve spent so long writing, scratching through and editing. It is now, officially, finished. And thank god I got so many friends, memories and lessons from writing it.

    Let me know your thoughts, comments and questions by emailing me at gingerlyons23@gmail.com or typing down below.