*POV me overthinking every interaction on Thanksgiving Eve*
Thanksgiving –– a holiday dedicated to family time, being thankful, and eating tons of food. But, perhaps the day before is the opposite. Thanksgiving Eve, or “Blackout Wednesday,” is dedicated to getting drunk with old classmates, having awkward small talk with someone you sat next to in history class, and trying your best to look like you’ve grown up since graduation.
For me, I felt nervous to be surrounded by people I haven’t seen in over four years. In the days before Thanksgiving Eve, worst-case-senarios began to creep in: What if I say “hi” to someone and they don’t recognize me? What if they blow me off? While these thoughts majorly sent a shiver down my spine, I still doused my blown-out hair in hairspray, armed myself with my favorite lipgloss, and made my way to the local bar.
This old bar is one I have known my whole life. My parents would take my siblings and me there for dinner back when I ordered dino nuggets and fries (which honestly isn’t that different from my current order). And now, I venture there for the occasional night out since moving home. I remember going there the summer after I turned 21 with my friend and ordering a bucket filled with an elixir of blue liquids –– causing a hangover that only a McDonald’s cheeseburger was able to fix.
Now, I’ve graduated from college. I’m an adult who is supposed to be starting my career. But, my time period for finding a job has continued to stretch. My plans have not exactly gone the way that I had hoped, and instead of having moved away by now, I am still chronically active on LinkedIn –– throwing my resume and cover letter at any job listed. But I can’t tell my former classmates that, can I? How can I be honest when they ask me “what I’ve been up to” without nervously laughing?
Regardless, I went with a group of friends to brave the awkward small talk and embarrassing eye contact. As I began to chat with people who I had known in high school, I began to realize that I wasn’t alone in this sticky post-grad web. I began to realize that everyone else was stuck in this web too, but in different ways. Some people explained that they were in grad school, but were facing challenges they hadn’t expected. Some people didn’t have a job yet either. Some people did have a job and explained that it was “fine,” but didn’t seem satisfied. I realized that while I was trying to hide my post-grad despair, everyone else was doing the same thing. Just because their Instagram story was stacked with photos of their new homes and jobs, many of them were unsatisfied, uncomfortable, and had expected more after college –– just like me.
In between the small talk, one girl told me that she enjoys reading my articles. To hear that I had a reader other than my mom and close friends felt amazing. This made all of the rejection letters that are stacked in my inbox, and burned into my brain, fade away a little. I made one little impact –– and while enjoying a seltzer with some of my old friends, that felt like enough.
So, happy Thanksgiving Eve to all who celebrate! Congrats to all of you for braving the home town bar.
How was your Thanksgiving Eve? Let me know by emailing me: gingerlyons23@gmail.com
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